


the screaming, heaving, fuckery of the world

by TransparentSheepDeer



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Canon: Devilman Crybaby, M/M, Mild Dissociation, akira is alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 10:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19227706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransparentSheepDeer/pseuds/TransparentSheepDeer
Summary: The humans are gone.Satan should be happy.He isn't.





	the screaming, heaving, fuckery of the world

Everything got fixed.

Satan was on the top of Mount Fuji, looking at the forest that was once Tokyo.

Ever since he shed his human skin, he could finally see in the dark – the forest was unending, tall, _alive_. Without light pollution, the stars could be seen. In the distance, there were screeches, howls, growls. As it should be.

Satan liked this view much better.

He had used most of his time to attempt to clean up the mess that the humans had done to the planet – but even with his powers, cleaning up the trash left by them was no easy task. Reducing things to ash and dust took time and energy. Especially the goddamn roads were hard to remove. Fucking asphalt.

“You are out here again.”

Satan tensed, but stayed silent.

Akira chuckled. Why, Satan didn’t know.

He came close and sat next to him.

Satan did his best to not look at his face. Akira didn’t say anything for a long time.

“You ever wonder if-”

“No.”

“I wasn’t finished, Ryo.”

Satan’s mouth twitched. Akira kept calling him that name ever so stubbornly.

“If you…” Akira laughed to himself. “You were an authority. People listened to you. The demons served you. You could have solved everything.”

Satan fiddled with a strand of his hair. “No. Humans were the problem. With them gone, the Earth can finally start healing.”

Akira didn’t say anything to that. He hadn’t for a long while. He argued in the beginning, but by now, he had come to accept that Satan would not change his mind about humans.

But Akira couldn’t let go.

Satan wondered if he ever would.

“Ryo. Look at me.”

Satan stared ahead, silent.

A hand was on his shoulder a second later. It was warm, it was _so_ warm.

“It won’t be easier if you keep pretending I don’t exist.”

_Yes, yes it will be easier._

“Ryo,” Akira whispered, “let me see you again.”

Something inside Satan shattered.

He couldn’t bring himself to actually look at him and face reality.

But he tried to.

He changed into Asuka Ryo, an identity he had abandoned long ago.

He couldn’t see anymore. He felt Akira’s hand on his shoulder. It was bigger now.

Akira chuckled. “You still look the same. You bastard.”

Satan didn’t know what to say. He brushed some hair out of his face. It was weird to have short hair again.

There was something under his skin that crawled and prodded, demanding to be released.

Satan could explode from it.

His throat closed up, his eyes got wet, his hands trembled. His heart thumped, the rhythm irregular and agonizingly painful.

“Look at me,” Akira pleaded.

Satan shook his head, pressing his lips together. If he looked at Akira, he would fall apart.

Akira’s hand squeezed. “I’m not angry at you, Ryo.” His voice cracked when he said Satan’s old name, and then he started sobbing.

Satan froze at the sound. He hadn’t heard him cry for a long time.

“Please don’t push me away. Please don’t push me away again. I have no one left but you, Ryo!”

Satan grabbed the hand on his shoulder on impulse.

Akira gasped.

Satan didn’t know why he did that. Or why he continued by touching along his arm until he found his shoulder.

Satan wrapped his arms around Akira’s neck and held him.

Akira’s hands were on his back seconds later, pressing weakly. His sobs became louder, and he buried his face in Satan’s shoulder. 

Satan held him tighter.

…why hadn’t he done this sooner?

“I’m sorry,” Satan blurted. His voice cracked, the words were foreign on his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,…”

He kept repeating the words until they lost meaning, until he wasn’t sure whether he was pronouncing them right.

Akira chanted back, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,…”

Satan couldn’t stop. It was his fault, it was all his fault that things had ended up like this.

Satan didn’t know for how long they held each other. He didn’t want to stop. It felt like a lifetime had passed since their last hug.

He shuddered at the thought.

He pulled back slowly, looking at Akira’s face for the first time in…

…in fifty years.

His eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now, but still, he could only make out so much of his features. His gray hair, the shadows cast by his wrinkles.

Satan never thought… he forgot to think about time. What did time matter to someone immortal?

He had made Akira strong enough to protect himself from humans and demons. But it wasn’t enough.

Akira was reluctant to accept him as his companion in the beginning. And when Satan thought that giving him some time and space would make things better, he screwed up.

Because when he showed up after what he thought had been a few weeks, he found his Akira balding, graying, _aging_.

They didn’t have eternity.

They don’t have eternity.

And when Satan realized that all of his plans had failed, that none of his achievements mattered in the end, that Akira would slip from his reach and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening-

Hands framed his face, bringing him back to the present.

“You’re crying, too,” Akira muttered.

Satan barely heard him. He was barely aware of their surroundings. He felt like floating, like watching himself from afar.

He could have had a life with him.

And he had thrown it away.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to write more post-episode-10 alterations, because I really like them! I used a Hozier lyrics generator and tbh I really liked this one so I used it as a title :D  
> I'm almost done with my finals so I'll probably get back to writing soon too, I really miss it
> 
> thank you for reading, and please leave kudos and comments if you liked it! :)


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